3 Signs You’re Falling in Love With Your Best Friend
Do you ever wonder what it might be like to date your close friend?
If you’d asked me this in the past, I likely would’ve laughed in your face or gagged at the thought of being romantic with any of my guy friends. I truly saw each of them as family and couldn’t begin to see them that way.
He started as my friend, too. At the time, I had zero intentions of developing a romantic relationship with him. It wasn’t even on my radar. We seemed way too different: I wanted kids while he was uncertain. I craved stability and peace while he toured the country in a metal band. I had a small circle of close friends while he was the life of the party wherever he went. From the start, I told myself we would never work out romantically and that a friendship would be much healthier and more fulfilling.
Here are three signs you’re in love with your best friend—coming from someone who fell head-over-heels for hers.
When it comes to friendships, I’m typically not much of a physical touch person. I rarely even hug my childhood best friends unless one of us is really going through it. However, whenever I spent time with my boyfriend (pre-dating), I found myself constantly craving physical closeness, whether that meant leaning my head on his shoulder, sitting next to him on the couch, or even putting my feet on his lap while watching a movie.
At the time, I told myself it was “just normal friend things.” But I had never desired any sort of physical intimacy or affection with another male (or even female) friend before. (It’s important to mention that I was not dating anyone during this friendship.)
As we deepened our friendship, I felt more and more drawn to him, both emotionally and physically. It wasn’t even about chemistry or attraction (though both of those were present, too). I just simply enjoyed being in his presence.
This might seem like obvious, but I didn’t realize that my unwillingness and disinterest in dating other men had anything to do with my feelings toward my then-best friend. But looking back, I realize I rejected the idea of being with anyone else and dreaded the day he might start dating. In the back of my mind, I secretly hoped we would end up together, despite believing we were “just friends” and “incompatible.”
One night in particular, I found myself attending a friend’s wedding while single, dancing it up with the wedding party yet wishing my best friend could be there. In fact, rather than accepting an offer from one of the handsome wedding guests to hit the bar together after the reception, I chose to go back to my hotel room to FaceTime my now-boyfriend all night.
That was the moment I realized I was too far gone—though I still didn’t admit it to myself for months.
We often use our friends as sounding boards during difficult or confusing times. But when one person becomes your go-to source of comfort and validation, it may signal a deeper, more intimate connection.
Before my boyfriend and I admitted our romantic feelings, we constantly asked each other for advice, vented about our struggles, called each other after a long day, and talked extensively about our dreams. Seeing his name on my phone didn’t give me butterflies—it gave me a sense of security, peace, and longing that I couldn’t quite understand at the time. Prior to meeting him, I’d associated love with pain, intensity, and inconsistency. But my “best friend” was a kind, caring, and solid force in my life.
He offered a type of support I couldn’t find elsewhere—not because my other friends fell short, but because the dynamic between us was different. Little did I realize I was falling in love. And despite being terrified of losing him, the risk of ruining the friendship was worth it. Because at the end of the day, as my boyfriend always tells me now, we were never really “just friends” to begin with.
