Be still…
Who is the least stressed driver in the world? The funeral car driver. Why? He is not in a hurry, he is not bothered by traffic, and, best of all, he does not carry a backseat driver.
In today’s Gospel (Matthew 18:21–35), Jesus teaches us about forgiveness and reconciliation. Forgiveness is one of the most difficult, yet most freeing, lessons we can learn in life. It is a journey of the heart that often calls us to let go, again and again. As Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a constant attitude.” How true. Forgiveness is not always a single act that happens once and is finished forever. Sometimes, we have to forgive again and again, especially when the memory of the hurt returns, again and again.
There is a saying that reminds us of what anger can do: “Anger does more damage to the vessel in which it is stored than to the vessel on which it is poured.” When we keep anger inside us, we may think we are punishing the person who hurt us. But often, we are the ones who suffer. Lewis B. Smedes wrote, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” We have a choice: to forgive and become free, or to refuse to forgive and remain trapped in anger, stress, bitterness, and sadness.
Mahatma Gandhi said, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Indeed, forgiveness is not weakness. It takes strength to forgive when we have been deeply hurt. It takes humility to set aside our pride. And it takes faith to surrender to God what we cannot change. Perhaps this is the prayer we need to make: “Lord, You have forgiven me so many times. Help me to do likewise.”
Think for a moment of the person who has hurt you the most. Perhaps there is someone you dislike so deeply that even hearing that person’s name disturbs your peace. Perhaps the wound is still fresh. Perhaps it happened many years ago, but the pain remains. What should we do? Offer that person to God. Leave that person in God’s heart. Pray, if you can, for that person’s conversion and healing. Release the matter from your hands. You do not have to carry it forever. Surrender. Let God take over.
Forgiveness does not mean saying, “It did not happen.” Neither does it mean saying, “It did not hurt.” What happened may have been real, and the pain may have been deep. But forgiveness means choosing not to allow that pain to control you anymore. Get rid of the “backseat driver”!
There is a story of a monk who saw a scorpion on a leaf drifting along a river. Wanting to save it, the monk reached out to lift the scorpion from the water. But each time he tried, the scorpion stung him. Someone watching asked, “Why do you keep trying to save it when it keeps hurting you?” The monk replied, “It is the nature of the scorpion to sting. It is my nature to love. Why should I give up my nature to love simply because it is the scorpion’s nature to sting?”
“Learn from me, for I am gentle and humble of heart.” (Matthew 11:29). Gentleness is the way, and humility is the key to true peace and reconciliation. Gentleness softens hearts, while humility helps us recognize that we, too, have made mistakes and have needed forgiveness. Let us take—and remain on—the road of gentleness and humility.
Allow me to share my simple prayer of forgiveness: “Lord, forgive me for all my sins. I forgive all who have hurt me. I ask forgiveness from and pray for all those I have hurt. With humility and gratitude, I joyfully accept Your unconditional love and forgiveness. Amen.” And whenever the burdens of anger, resentment, worldly worries, and personal struggles become too heavy, let us return to the One who is always merciful. Let us pray often: “Jesus, I trust in You. Mama Mary, I love you.”
“Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10) The lessons come when you are calm. When you listen more to the Lord, and less on your feelings, hurts, and disappointments, then you are growing, you are moving on, again.
Lord, forgive us our sins as we forgive those who have sinned against us. Amen.
