Boredom, ranting and clowns: Welcome to the UN’s big bash

Welcome to Declassified, a weekly humor column.

The United Nations General Assembly is a bit like Christmas with the extended family: hour after hour of extreme tedium, punctuated by the occasional offensive outburst or fistfight.

This year’s Most Bored Person at UNGA Award goes to Syrian President Ahmed al-Sharaa, who was caught on camera doomscrolling and posting Instagram reels in the main assembly hall. He’s far from the only one to get distracted during a meeting, of course. In 2012, then-U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton doodled on her printed remarks at a meeting of the U.N. Security Council (she drew spirals, stars and circles — not offensive caricatures of Donald Trump and Monica Lewinsky).

However, the best-ever political doodler is surely South Korean lawmaker Yoo Young-ha, who was caught sketching a gorilla on his laptop during a parliamentary audit session in 2025. To be clear, there wasn’t a gorilla in the parliament for a life-drawing session (and, at the time of writing, my suggestion to release large primates into European Parliament plenary sessions is still being considered by the Conference of Presidents).

The excitement at this year’s big U.N. bash didn’t stop at, er, man loses interest and starts looking at social media. Oh, no. There was also the choice of music before Trump and U.S. Secretary of State Marco Rubio took the stage to talk about Greenland — “Send in the Clowns.”

Denmark said it had nothing to do with the choice of tune. A spokesperson for the European Clown Association said they couldn’t comment until their father returned from sick leave. They clearly had big shoes to fill.

But there have been far more explosive moments at the U.N. General Assembly over the years. In 2009, Libya’s Moammar Gadhafi ignored his 15-minute speaking limit and launched into a 96-minute rant, during which he ripped a page of the U.N. Charter in half (and he was introduced as “the king of kings,” which is also my work nickname).

And in 2015, Zimbabwe’s Robert Mugabe defended his anti-LGBTQ+ stance by yelling “we are not gays” into the microphone (OK mate, we get it, you don’t like gay people).

Most incendiary of all, last year the U.N. appeared to be suffering from the cost-of-living crisis just as much as the rest of us, resorting to using Ikea furniture. What looked suspiciously like a LACK side table — available in black, brown and white, and yours for just €9.99 — was placed between Commission President Ursula von der Leyen and Trump during a meeting.

Now that’s soft (furnishings) power in action!

CAPTION COMPETITION

“This year’s ‘Who can find Greenland on a map?’ competition was surprisingly close.”

Can you do better? Email us at pdallison@politico.eu or get in touch on X @POLITICOEurope.

Last time, we gave you this photo:

Thanks for all the entries. Here’s the best one from our mailbag — there’s no prize except the gift of laughter, which I think we can all agree is far preferable to cash or booze.

“That guy seems overdressed for having Molson and poutine.”

by Ben Turner