Matatiele mayor warns of cyberbullying over Facebook group targeting men - IOL

A social media trend exposing men accused of cheating has escalated, with at least 15 Matatiele men approaching SAPS over alleged defamation and character assassination.

An outcry has erupted over a social media group called “Vela Star Wam”, which has reportedly sparked outrage among men in Matatiele in the Eastern Cape who accuse the group of subjecting them to humiliating and derogatory commentary about their private lives.

“Vela Star Wam” is a colloquial Nguni and street-language expression used to challenge a partner’s alleged lover to reveal themselves.

The Facebook and TikTok group is accused of exposing intimate details about men’s romantic relationships and alleged sexual encounters, including claims about their sexual performance. Some men are reportedly described as “Amaqhude”, a derogatory term used in the group in reference to men alleged to experience premature ejaculation.

One of the men said details about his private relationship had been exposed to his own child, leaving him deeply uncomfortable.

“We no longer feel safe within our own families; we are being confronted with questions to which we have no answers,” he said.

The group allegedly posts photographs of men, followed by discussions about their personal lives and relationships.

Although much of the commentary reportedly centres on men’s romantic and sexual lives, some alleged victims claim the group has also become a vehicle for jealousy, with certain men allegedly targeted because of their success or progress in life.

Several men from the area have reportedly approached the Matatiele police station to open cases, alleging that those operating the group have damaged their dignity and reputations. South African Police Service (SAPS) investigators in Matatiele are tracking down approximately 15 women suspected of managing the group and publishing the defamatory material.

The men formally opened criminal cases at the Matatiele police station, citing defamation and character assassination.

Some of the men have complained that they first learnt about allegations concerning them through their children, while others say the revelations have triggered conflict and damaged personal relationships.

Matatiele Mayor Patrick Stuurman has warned social media users of the possible law infringements like POPIA and cyberbullying following a social media trend that is allegedly shaming men.

Matatiele municipal employee Salathiso Ntabeni said the matter could no longer be dismissed as social media gossip, particularly because some of those allegedly targeted are public representatives who have families and children.

Ntabeni also raised an unverified allegation that a man had allegedly taken his own life because of the controversy.

“We have heard that there is already a man who has died by suicide because of this matter,” Ntabeni said.

The claim has not been independently verified.

Ntabeni said the municipality regularly conducted programmes aimed at addressing gender-based violence (GBV), which was driven by a range of social factors. However, he argued that the emergence of the group had introduced another dimension by allegedly subjecting men to public humiliation and psychological pressure.

He said it was particularly concerning that social-media platforms, which could be used by young people to create opportunities, promote entrepreneurship, develop skills and improve their livelihoods, were instead allegedly being used to shame and expose others.

Ntabeni called for government institutions to intensify public education on cyberbullying and the Protection of Personal Information Act (POPIA), particularly regarding the unlawful sharing of photographs and private information on social-media platforms.

Matatiele Mayor Patrick Stuurman condemned the alleged online campaign and urged families not to make impulsive decisions that could irreparably damage relationships.

Stuurman said the controversy should also be viewed within the broader context of gender-based violence.

He said GBV had traditionally been framed largely around violence and abuse against women, but warned that men could also be affected.

“Let us make it unequivocally clear that the allegations and claims circulating in this group have not been independently verified. We therefore appeal to families not to allow themselves to be torn apart by information whose authenticity remains unconfirmed,” said Stuurman.

The mayor acknowledged that many men were deeply concerned by the allegations circulating on the platform, but urged them to exercise restraint and avoid actions driven by anger or emotion.

He also appealed to those who established the group to consider suspending their activities and allow tensions to subside, saying calm and responsible engagement was necessary to prevent the situation from escalating.

The “Vela Star Wam” trend is not limited to Matatiele. It has also been reported in areas such as the Vaal in Gauteng and Pietermaritzburg in KwaZulu-Natal, as well as other towns and cities, where it has reportedly caused distress among people who have been mentioned.