The hidden grief of being laid off in your 30s - CNA

Even after retrenched young professionals secure new jobs, the emotional scars can still persist. Recruitment experts and counsellors offer tips on what to do when a layoff disrupts one's sense of self. 

Dealing with grief after retrenchment is not a linear process, say experts. (Photo: iStock)

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Kimberly Lim 18 Sep 2026 09:30PM (Updated: 19 Sep 2026 01:34PM) Bookmark Bookmark Share WhatsApp Telegram Facebook Twitter Email LinkedIn Set CNA as your preferred source on Google Add CNA as a trusted source to help Google better understand and surface our content in search results. Read a summary of this article on FAST. Get bite-sized news via a newcards interface. Give it a try. Click here to return to FAST Tap here to return to FAST FAST Last November, I got an email invitation to an in-person meeting with my then-CEO, a rare occurrence. The meeting was also scheduled for a Monday, a day when most of the company typically worked from home. 

"Is this a Bad News Meeting?" I asked my boss via online chat. I got a cryptic non-answer in response. 

It was, in fact, very bad news. Gathered around a meeting table, the bosses told me and a few other colleagues that we were to be laid off. We would be jobless in a month's time, and would each get a modest severance payout. 

I made it through the meeting, but as we gathered around our desks to process the news, the waterworks started. I was aware that getting laid off is always a possibility in many lines of work, but at the age of 31, I hadn't thought I was in that much danger just yet.

I shared hugs and tears with my colleagues, before sitting down to finish an assignment due that day. Focusing on my tasks felt easier than thinking about what would come next. 

I was lucky enough to secure another job about half a year later. Now, nearly one year after that fateful email invitation, things are looking up for me career-wise. 

Emotionally, however, I think I'm still smarting from the retrenchment. 

And I'm not the only one, either. Counsellors and human resource (HR) experts told me that dealing with the retrenchment blues is a gradual process, one that's more common than we may think.

Ministry of Manpower (MOM) data shows that older workers tend to be laid off at a higher rate than the overall working population.

This is partly owing to the fact that they're more expensive given their years of experience, said Mr Adrian Tan, an HR analyst and creator of Sg Layoff Tracker.

CNA Games Guess Word Crack the word, one row at a time Buzzword Create words using the given letters Mini Sudoku Tiny puzzle, mighty brain teaser Mini Crossword Small grid, big challenge Word Search Spot as many words as you can Show More Show Less Related: Commentary: Think career resilience, not job security, amid season of layoffs The Big Read in short: Retrenchment blues for young workers For those of us in our 30s, getting laid off so early in our working life can be quite a shock. It can also be isolating to feel like you're the only one in your social circle dealing with retrenchment. 

All around me, my peers were moving ahead in their careers as I was forced to seriously reconsider my career prospects. Was it time to pivot to a different industry? Or should I stick with what was comfortable? What did I even want out of my next role? 

For months, these questions swirled in my mind. 

According to Ms Michelle Mah, a psychotherapist at counselling firm The Curious Bonsai, it's normal for retrenched professionals in their 30s to feel unmoored.  

Your 30s are often touted as the decade when one begins to tick off life's checklist such as building a family, achieving financial stability, and having a solid career trajectory, Ms Mah said. 

"A layoff in your 30s hits directly at this intersection of financial commitments, biological clocks, and peak identity formation. It also interrupts this story that we have been conditioned to believe in Singapore – that you get a good degree, a good job and your life is set." 

Some of her retrenched clients in this age group feel as though they've fallen behind in life compared to their peers, said Ms Mah. 

"Many begin pulling away socially, paralysed by the dread of answering the baseline Singaporean greeting: 'So, what are you doing now?'" 

Having to repeatedly explain their layoff to friends, family, and recruiters can even be a traumatic experience for some, she added.