The Secret to Better Sex Might Be What You Do BEFORE You Get Naked - VICE
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This is sponsored content. It was created for our partner, Kindra.
Like your face, your vagina needs skincare, too. Unfortunately, no one has really given you the memo. One day, sex is sex. Then suddenly things down there don’t quite cooperate the way they used to. Maybe you feel drier. Maybe there’s itching, stinging, burning, or irritation. Maybe penetration suddenly feels more “sandpaper-y” than sexy. Or, maybe your brain is extremely into what’s happening while your body seems to have missed the meeting entirely.
That disconnect can affect more than sex. When intimacy starts to hurt, you might find yourself avoiding it or just powering through it until the finish line. Either option can take a toll on how you feel about your body and your partner.
But, it happens. Hormonal changes, perimenopause, and menstrual cycles are common culprits. Not to mention, dryness and discomfort can just happen at other points in life, too, including but not limited to postpartum or while taking certain medications.
“Declining estrogen is the main driver, but it’s not the whole story,” says Dr. Anna Cabeca, a triple board-certified OB-GYN and menopause expert based in Dallas, Texas. DHEA levels also decline with age, she explains, and both hormones play a role in vaginal tissue health. Postpartum hormonal changes and breastfeeding can also cause dryness, while medications including some hormonal contraceptives, antihistamines, and antidepressants may contribute for some women.
As for GLP-1 medications like Ozempic and Wegovy, despite chatter about the connection with vaginal dryness, Cabeca says there isn’t currently clinical data demonstrating that they directly cause it. Significant or rapid weight loss, however, can affect hormone levels and nutritional status, which could indirectly influence vaginal tissue and lubrication. If new or worsening dryness coincides with starting a GLP-1, she recommends tracking the timing and discussing it with your healthcare provider.
While lube can make sex more comfortable in the moment, it doesn’t address the dryness and discomfort you’re dealing with the other 23 hours of the day. Lube for sex doesn’t contain the same skincare ingredients as an intimate moisturizer, after all.
That’s where Kindra’s Sexual Wellness Bundle comes in. Think of it as “vagina optimization” with a clear purpose. The moisturizers help tackle dryness, itching, sensitivity, and discomfort, while the lubricant helps provide the slip and glide when it’s time to get down to business.
This isn’t a one-vagina-treatment-fits-all situation. Instead, Kindra essentially gives you an intimate skincare routine: lighter hydration when you want it, richer moisture when you need it, and lube when things get sexy.
Think of V Relief Serum and Daily V Lotion as two sides of the same intimate-skincare routine, or, as some might say, it’s basically ChapStick for your vagina.
V Relief Serum is the lighter option. The gel-like formula glides on easily and is designed to feel more like your body’s natural lubrication, making it especially well-suited for daytime use.
Daily V Lotion, on the other hand, is richer and thicker. Think of it as your nighttime “vulva mask.” It helps hydrate and support the skin’s moisture barrier while you sleep.
Both contain Kindra’s patented biomimetic peptide along with skincare ingredients you probably recognize from products sitting on your bathroom counter: hyaluronic acid, vitamin E, and coconut oil. Hyaluronic acid helps attract and retain moisture, while the formulas are designed to help support the intimate skin barrier and relieve symptoms including itching, burning, stinging, and sensitivity.
There’s actual science behind putting hyaluronic acid somewhere other than your face, too. “Hyaluronic acid works by attracting and retaining moisture in the tissue,” Cabeca explains. “It’s a humectant, meaning it binds water and helps support hydration.” She says there’s growing clinical evidence supporting hyaluronic acid-based vaginal products for dryness and symptoms associated with genitourinary syndrome of menopause, though the evidence isn’t as extensive as it is for established hormonal therapies.
For women looking for a non-hormonal option, Cabeca says, hyaluronic acid can be a useful ingredient to consider.
All of Kindra’s intimate formulas are also pH-balanced, which is a good thing because vaginal pH doesn’t stay exactly the same throughout your life. During the reproductive years, Cabeca says vaginal pH is typically acidic and the Lactobacillus bacteria help maintain that environment. As estrogen declines during perimenopause and menopause, Lactobacillus can decrease and vaginal pH can rise. These are changes that may contribute to irritation and greater susceptibility to certain infections.
That doesn’t mean a pH-balanced moisturizer is an infection-prevention product, however. Cabeca says while pH-balanced products may help support the vaginal environment, that doesn’t mean the product can actually “prevent infections.” Basically, unless that claim has been demonstrated clinically, proceed with caution.
Now let’s talk about the V Lube, because moisturizing your intimate skin and making sex slippery are two different jobs.
Kindra offers its pH-friendly V Lube in both silicone- and water-based formulas. Both are designed to reduce friction and increase comfort during sex without quickly drying out, and both are formulated without parabens, fragrance, or glycerin.
Not sure which one to pick? The silicone-based V Lube is Kindra’s longest-lasting option and doesn’t need to be reapplied as frequently. It can also be used in the shower or underwater, and Kindra recommends it for especially sensitive intimate skin. It’s compatible with natural-rubber latex, polyisoprene, and polyurethane condoms.
The water-based V Lube, meanwhile, is the better pick if you’re using silicone toys or dilators. It’s formulated to stay slippery without getting sticky or tacky over time.
At the end of the day, moisturizer is skincare. Lube is essential for better sex. Your vagina can and sometimes should have both.
Here’s the thing we probably don’t talk about enough: Vaginal and vulvar dryness doesn’t only matter during penetration.
Dry, sensitive intimate skin can bother you while you’re exercising, sitting at your desk, sleeping, wearing certain clothes or simply existing. And, when dryness does make sex painful or uncomfortable, it can create another problem entirely. You start anticipating that sex will hurt, and you can just imagine what that does to your psyche.
“Pain with sex can create anticipatory anxiety,” Cabeca says. “You may start avoiding sex because you’re bracing for pain before it even happens.” That anticipation can interfere with arousal, desire, and sexual confidence, she explains, and eventually affect intimacy and relationships, too.
“Dryness and painful sex aren’t just physical problems; they can affect quality of life and emotional well-being, too,” Cabeca adds. “They deserve to be addressed.”
That’s one reason treating dryness as an everyday wellness issue—not just something you frantically address five minutes before sex with lube—is integral to your sex life and beyond.
Kindra recommends making its moisturizer part of your actual routine rather than waiting until you’re uncomfortable.
Once you have the products on-hand, with clean, dry fingers, apply one to two pumps of V Relief Serum or Daily V Lotion to the vulva, including the labia and vaginal opening. The products can also be applied to external anal tissue.
For the best results, Kindra recommends applying moisturizer morning and night. You can also use it after showering, before exercise, as needed throughout the day, and before and after intimacy for additional comfort. And yes, this is important to remember. You don’t have to be having sex to use vaginal moisturizer.
Consider V Lube that more spontaneous companion. Apply it generously when you want additional lubrication during intimacy and reapply if needed.
Afterward, you can cleanse with a gentle wash such as Kindra’s Soothe Bath & Shower Gel, which is designed specifically for intimate skin.
None of this means every itch, sting, dry spell, or painful sexual experience should be diagnosed as “just dryness.” An OTC moisturizer or lubricant can be appropriate for mild, manageable dryness, Cabeca says. But persistent or unusual symptoms deserve a closer look.
Burning, persistent irritation, unusual or foul-smelling discharge, bleeding or spotting, sores or skin changes, recurrent urinary symptoms, or pain that doesn’t improve with lubrication are all reasons to see a healthcare provider. “Sudden or persistent symptoms shouldn’t automatically be assumed to be dryness,” Cabeca says, since infections, dermatologic conditions, pelvic-floor issues, or hormonal changes may need to be evaluated.
But there’s also no reason to treat vaginal dryness like some bizarre bodily malfunction nobody is supposed to mention. And it isn’t exclusively a menopause problem, either. “It can happen in your 20s and 30s too, and it’s not something you simply have to accept or live with,” Cabeca says. “There are real solutions.”
We moisturize our faces. We have 12-step nighttime skincare routines. We own creams specifically formulated for our elbows. Your vagina is allowed to be high-maintenance, too.
